9 month Follow-Up - and what I've learned

I had my 9 month follow-up appointment today. I went by myself, because I wanted to make sure I really talked one-on-one with the RN that I've been seeing for my follow-ups (Rose). And what I had been "fearing most" came true - I had only lost 2-3 pounds in the past 3 months. How, you ask? Lack of exercise, too many carbs, falling into bad habits like grazing (sorta) and emotional eating and/or out of boredom. We talked about all these things, and a few others, and of course realizing these things is half the battle. Now I've just got to kick my butt into gear and get back to walking, to the gym, to whatever. Get back to protein! I have been craving Special K lately, which is all well and good, except...not protein. They have a Special K Protein, but it's not the same as having a piece of chicken. When I eat dinner, it's generally just meat...and maybe something on the side, if I can eat it (like a little bit of potato, pasta, veg.).

I have been severely slacking on my protein.

So, anyway, now that I'm this far out, here's some of the things that I've learned:

1. It will pass. My hair thinning stabilized and I believe it's growing back. There are still times I eye my wigs optimistically, wishing I was able to put them on with better results, but I don't feel embarrassed about my hair anymore.

2. It will pass. The things they say you can't do - for example, gulp things, or eat fast - you can do. Gulping liquids I have done and do do on a semi-regular basis. Eating fast I do do as well - but that you pay for, and you know it. But you don't end up having to eat at a snail's pace if you don't want - just be cognizant of the fact that it's an "at your own risk" situation.

3. Exercise. You need it, I need it. It's a major reason a lot of us sleevers ended up in this situation! So get off your derriere and get moving! Walking is especially good.

4. Stop making excuses. I can make an excuse for anything it seems - having a broken finger to deal with for the past 2 months or so has been difficult. Dave having lost my keytag for Planet Fitness made going to the gym...complicated. So, I haven't been to the gym in quite some time.

And there are other things, of course, that I can't think of off the top of my head. But there are other "exciting" details to get on to -

I have been working on making some friends in my area. It's been...mildly successful? Anyway, one of the ladies I've made friends with recently had an Roux-En-Y gastric bypass surgery. I don't know if she has a full program with the doctor she did it with, but it doesn't seem like it. She's only a few months out and kind of eating whatever she wants. She's had alcohol, and soda. And I'm like O_O whaaaaaaaaaaat. I've been absolutely 'straight edge hard core' about that. In my mind, there was the one year ban. So I'm wondering how she's doing it. I'm worried about her a little, and I talk to her about my journey, so I'm helping I can be a positive support for her.

Additionally, something that's been stressing me out (other than everything? lolz) is that I'm starting up as an official crafter again, with my spanky rebooted Etsy shop. Which you can check out here: The Salvaged Soiree. Buy something, huh? I do crafts for stress relief - though lately I'm so stressed just trying to figure out what people like! But you can only make so many pairs of earrings for yourself. Trust me. I have over 100 pairs of earrings, and I think maybe two of those are ones I've made. Hence, selling! Somebody gets to have something pretty, my crafting is validated, and the money goes toward crafting...more... Pretty much, yeah.

Easter is coming up shortly - a little bit of drama with that, but it is what it is. I will just be happy to see my parents and spend time with my mom. And dye eggs. <3

77 Bariatric Recipes!

Got this link today from my weight loss program (Greater Baltimore Medical Center - GBMC - Comprehensive Obesity Management Program - COMP)... A downloadable, printable booklet. Lots of recipes, with dietary information. Pretty much definitely gonna keep this handy, even if I've been bad lately.

http://read.uberflip.com/i/272797/0

Currently...

1. I'm currently addicted to animal crackers and Dove (milk) chocolates. I was all up on guacamole and tortilla chips for about a week or so, but the availability of both is so-so. Plus, the guac can be a bit too acidic for my stomach at times.

2. I have a broken finger. (I broke it while trying to give Dave a literal piggy-back ride. Doesn't work now that he's a good 70 lbs heavier than I am.)

3. I just moved. The stress of moving - and costs related to such - have been debilitating. I haven't really been interested in any kinds of food in particular, I've been getting a lot of headaches, have been incredibly on edge, and having my broken finger, I wasn't really able to do any stress relief (generally, crafts) or do as much packing and moving stuff around as I would be able to had I been fully-abled.

4. I've been trying to make some new friends via meetups. There's one group of ladies that I'm starting to bond with, and have had some great times with so far. Unfortunately, between my incredible social anxiety and my stomach, inevitably I get terrified shortly before anything happens and end up unintentionally making myself sick. In any case... one of the girls just recently underwent bariatric surgery herself, coincidentally! I'm going to be seeing her on Sunday for the first time since the surgery, so I'm probably going to bring some "party favor" protein powders with me, lol. It's not cheap...and it's always good to sample new things.

Recent pic

Also, let me post a [very] recent picture - as in, taken in the last 24 hours. Sorry it's blurry - that's my boyfriend for ya.

Holiday Recovery & Follow-up Appointment.

So, a holiday recap. This is how you handle the holidays successfully after bariatric surgery:

You don't.

The holidays were tough. With every one of them, I ate too much and was overly full and feeling slightly nauseous. I've been lucky that I rarely vomit, though, so that may have been what kept me going. That, and taking lots of precautionary/reactionary meds - Prilosec, Promethazine, Tums, and Gas-X. (I don't know if it really matters - and I think it does - but I use mint-flavored tums and the dissolvable mint gas-x strips. I find that mint flavor generally soothes my stomach, even if it's a complete placebo effect.) Even eating minimally, I still ate too fast. "OMG this is so good!!! *snarf snarf snarf*"

And that's becoming a bigger problem for me... But I'll get to that.

In addition, there's the cookies. Oh glorious, glorious cookies. I made some as usual, though a lot less than normal. (Pretty much nobody got a full tin, though I did bring plates kinda sorta everywhere.) I did do a good amount of grazing, but nowhere near as I used to eat. Still! It was risky. I was about 6 months out, and that was when I should have been only starting on breads/rice/pasta/potatoes... But I did ok. If I ate too many, I had diarrhea from all the sugar and fats. As usual, your body will tell you when you're eating what you shouldn't - either quantity or "quality."

Overall I came out all right. I did more binging (eating lots, and fast) than I hoped I would, which has tapered off significantly after the holidays. I think a lot of that was derived from stress. Emotional eating is a hard thing to remove from your life, but I think as time goes on, I am having more and more success. The most important thing about that is to be mindful.

___________________

In other news, I had my 6 month follow-up! Ended up being more like 7, because I had to reschedule, but whatever. I weighed in at 195, which is 60 lbs since my official weigh-in at surgery! Pretty proud of myself. Some of my vitamin levels are still low (the same ones - B1 and B12), but I have been falling behind on taking those a bit. >_< My liver enzymes were still a bit high, but we'll just keep watching those.

Clothing is still kind of wonky, but I'm fitting into my own skin a bit better, which is nice. I got some gift cards for Avenue & Kohl's for Christmas. I'm so-so on the Avenue stuff, since I'm getting close to the bottom of their sizing (and their stuff runs large anyway), but I'm sure I can work it! :)

New picture for New Year's!

I need to post a holiday sleeve recap, but in the meantime, here's a pic!

As time goes on

Lately I've been going through a good amount of hurdles. I have been plateauing for a month at just under 200 lbs, which is frustrating to say the least, since I was going to have my 6 month follow-up appointment and felt like I didn't have much to show for the additional three months. I rescheduled my appointment because I left my bloodwork until the last minute, and I wanted to make sure they had the results before I went to the appointment.

I have been very focused on the excess skin situation lately. I feel like it's hampering my attempts at sizing properly, not to mention making me feel dissatisfied (even to the point of minor disgust) with myself... "What am I doing wrong that it looks like this? I should be going to the gym more." - but then too depressed to get out to the gym...among other excuses. There's other things I could be doing of course...

...other things I've been "slacking off" on. I've been irregular in taking my vitamins, mostly because I can't afford the chewable/dissolvable ones. So taking the large and bad-tasting pills isn't something on my mind. In addition, I haven't been taking my calcium supplement, which is indeed liquid. I just don't really think about it, though I should. Generally when I get home from work I get a beverage - water, iced tea, whatever. The calcium supplement is right there. And yet... Nope.

Which relates to another problem I've been having - teeth. I have had crappy teeth all my life. I had a molar abscess when I was about 7 years old. (The new molar also abscessed later on. Eventually I had it extracted, which makes me more or less happy as a clam.) I have more fillings than I'd like to admit to. But lately, things have gotten worse. I have two broken molars, and some other damages to existing fillings and the like, probably from deterioration from the teeth underneath. Most recently, I broke off part of a tooth (that already has a substantial filling) while eating granola with flaxseed in it. Yep. Granola. The dentist thinks we can save my tooth, which would be grand. It's already next to two teeth that had to have root canals and crowns.

See how this is going?

In any case, my coworker, whose wife and stepdaughter both had weight loss surgery, said their teeth went to hell after their surgery, mostly from stomach acidity. I didn't really believe that would happen to me, since I haven't had any heartburn or acid indigestion really - but that's because I've been staying on Prilosec nonstop. But combined with the calcium-fail on my end... And maybe acid I'm not even thinking about... Definitely need to do something to turn this boat around, before I need dentures by the time I'm 30.

I always joked with my friend Meryl about my teeth problems and being so poor that I need to start hookin'... That I would start giving gumjobs. Welp, that doesn't seem so absurd of a likelihood now!

Have been making some Christmas cookies - and able to eat them. Thankfully, they are so absurdly filling (like any of the meager carbs I've tried) that I can only get away with one, maybe two -  not handfuls like I used to do. So huzzah for that!

I'm sorry I've been so absent from posting - I will do my best to work on that. Don't hold me to it, though - clearly I'm not very good at following through on stuff lately.

The Thanksgiving Challenge

So, after I long absence, I return! With a summary of the most eating-focused holiday here in the US - Thanksgiving. A day where we fill ourselves until we feel like we're going to burst. And, in my case, two days - one for my family, one for Dave's.

The biggest problem I had was the excessive odd looks and questions about the tiny amount on my plate, and having to pass up on a lot of things. "You're not going to have sweet potatoes? No rolls? No stuffing? No XYZ?" Especially at Dave's family get-together. Thankfully I was at the "kid's table," so I only had a few people looking at the meager portion on my plate. (A slice of turkey and a slice of ham.) At my family's celebration, I nabbed a smaller plate so I would be more satisfied with how it looked. No one really paid any mind - though I think I will just need to get used to the fact that I will always and forever have people raising a literal or figurative eyebrow at my absurdly small portion sizes.

Regardless - I made it through! Just focused on the meats - which is what Thanksgiving is really about, right? The turkey - the lovely, lovely turkey. I did, however, have wayyy too much pumpkin mousse for dessert at my parents'. I ate it too fast, more importantly... so I felt queasy, but didn't actually end up with vomiting or diarrhea. So that worked out well.

The only big issue I had was on the way up to my parents' Thanksgiving, we stopped at Cabela's (an outdoors store) and ate at their cafe. I had a bison bratwurst, which was tasty if a bit spicy for my taste. (Also, I accidentally took a wee bite of the bun, which I mostly spit out, lol. I had a moment of OSHI-- and then took out the bits that were distinguishable.) Thankfully, I took pretty much everything I had - two Gas-X dissolvable strips and 2 Tums Freshers. One or two trips to the bathroom resulted just in gas, but still, I felt better. Better enough to make it the next two hours to the house! So that's what really matters.

I'm getting better at some things, but not everything. I'm doing my best, and puttering along.

Also, just recently I broke 200!! I'm kind of ecstatic - and hoping it will stay on the downward path of course.

Lastly, buying clothes has been very difficult... Still pretty much can't find pants at all. It's a good thing I'm ok with wearing skirts, but even those... I used to wear patterned tights all the time, and even those are too big now. UGH. There is so much clothing I need, and can't afford. Money is pretty tight right now - Dave's having issues getting work secured steadily, especially when his full-time gig pooped out for 3 weeks or so. Events getting cancelled. Ugh, who knows. Frustrating, though, to say the least! Thankfully I'm making almost everything, and working with cheap supplies for the most part. Sadly, it means everyone is getting something not on a wishlist, but hopefully will still be enjoyed.

Excess Skin, Food Cravings, Etc.

So, my latest "beef" is excess skin. I haven't been working out as much as I should be, which I'm sure isn't helping, but I definitely have a lot more jiggly bits than I had before. When I was overweight, or at my maximum weight, there wasn't a lot of jiggle with my fat. I was...compact, I guess? Compact fat, looool. I always looked like I didn't weigh as much as I did. Well, now, I've got a lot of jiggle, everywhere pretty much. Excess skin especially in my thighs, but also my underarms, stomach (lower), and even some on my face/neck area. UGH. Unsat. More to the gym - and hopefully to finally check out that red light booth, if I can find a tanning salon to pick up some tanning goggles (required). Supposedly that helps with cellulite...Maybe it will jiggle away my jiggle?

In other news, I wish they had told us more about food cravings. My latest craving is honey roasted peanuts. And now, unfortunately, chocolate. My body (and stomach) are able to handle chocolate, though peanuts I end up eating in excess, lol! Peanuts and almonds sit "heavy" in my stomach, even if I chew them up into nut butter. I think it's just the fat content in both, maybe.

I can't think of what else I wanted to say off the top of my head. There have been some other things that have happened to me recently - I got in a car accident, where my car is "totaled" but still driveable. Because it involves money, naturally it effects all facets of my life. One of my (dental) crowns fell out, so chewing was interesting, since the opposite side of my mouth has a big ol' gap in the exact same spot from an extraction. Thankfully, that's been remedied. But it definitely feels like there's a bit of a black cloud hovering over my head. :|

New hair!

Here it is! I love reds (red-reds, not 'natural' reds, though I love those too), so I picked this one. I feel pretty va-va-voom. It's a bit difficult to get used to, and I keep thinking negatively, but I'm trying to shove those self-conscious thoughts out and enjoy it.

See? Voom. Voom indeed. (I'm being red riding hood for Halloween, btws. That did not have any bearing on my deciding on getting a red wig.)

Now I just have to practice styling it... That's the hardest part.

Aaaand, one more, just for funsies.