Keeping Up

This week has been incredibly difficult for me. I have been exhausted all the time, to the point of starting to drift off while driving. I am struggling to get my protein intake in, which might be why I'm so tired. So far I have only had one day that I was able to get in 70+ grams of protein. The rest of the days, I average somewhere around 40. The real issue is that for me to supplement that protein, I need to drink Isopure every day pretty much.... And I can't afford that. I can't afford to buy drinks that cost $4.50 a bottle. I don't like the Nectar protein powders at all (I think they're foul), and anything else that has been a protein "drink" instead of "shake" has been an incredible waste of time and taste buds. SOOOOO, there's that. On the plus side, I'm doing decent on my hydration! So...there's that as well! Yay!

I'm working along on soft foods pretty well! After the asparagus hiccup. I've had some string cheese, raspberries, banana, deli turkey meat, and that's all been fine. :) I tried making some mashed cauliflower last night and followed a specific recipe, and it turned out like awful gruel. It was so bad that even though I had spent a long while on it, I took 3 spoonfuls and dumped the rest. (Can't link the recipe unfortunately - it was in one of the cookbooks.)

I'm keeping a little notebook with two columns - protein and hydro. It's definitely making me more accountable to myself.

I think my exhaustion has just been from being back at work full-time, and being very, very busy at work. Most days I haven't gone out for lunch, just because I've been working on this, that, or the other thing. Today is also more or less one of those days. But part of it is that I push myself beyond my physical and mental limits always. And there's pretty much no one to stop me from myself, lol.

Things have been a little tense with Dave.. I haven't been feeling very "special," and I think it's just not really communicating as much as we had been when I was home all the time. Being at work and being busy has been depressing and exhausting (and lonely! since I hardly talk to anyone on a personal level at all, all day long). So I'd like to come home to my love standing there with open arms and asking me about my day and telling me about his, or just texting me throughout the day with something to say, anything interesting... Otherwise, just blankly asking "how's it going"... it hardly means anything. Especially down here in "the South" where people just say that passing by each other on the sidewalk. Up in NJ/PA/etc, that never happens - if they say anything, it might be hello, good morning, good afternoon, evenin', whatev - but that's rare, and usually only in the neighborhood. Whatevs, sorry for the tangent. Anyway! Dave put together a really sweet basket of stuff for me on Wednesday that made me cry - because he was thinking about me, and about the shitty day I was having, and my general poor attitude for days and days. I should always realize he loves me, but clearly if I'm not interacting with him in-depth, it gets to me.

Oy vey, this has been a rambly post. Sorry about that folks... I'll try to be a bit more focused next time. Til then!