So, my mom has decided come hell or high water that she wants to come down and take care of me. It will be her solo, which is slightly less stressful. I've explained to her a good amount of the whole "look I can't eat solid foods when you come down, or even mushy foods," since she will be down on my birthday and I hope she won't be trying to get me cake. I was doing my best to offer to entertain her a bit, since I know she will probably be itching to go out, but she said no, I'm there to take care of you! So we'll see how well that sticks, lol. She is always so active... I'm going to have to queue up a bunch of stuff on Netflix or something. She is just coming down for the weekend (a week after my surgery), and it will be a nice change of pace other than just seeing Dave, as much as I love his face, I'm sure he will be glad from waiting on me.
I'm kind of excited, but y'know, kind of worried. Hopefully everything will go well.
In addition, I have another therapist appointment tomorrow. I don't really want to go (I never do it seems), and I'm not 100% cool with this new one, as she is very....timid? Not really going with the slightly erratic flow of my thought process? It's just a bit difficult, and a lot of concerned/sad face nodding, even when I make jokes as part of my coping-ness. I guess I don't really know what I want from her or what I'm looking to get out of therapy right now, so I'm not going in a good direction. I don't know if I'm really getting enough feedback from her to feel like it's making any difference... After appointments I've had with previous therapists, I have a lot to think about. With her, I don't really - I'm just walking back to my car.
>:|
In other news, I am hoping to make some friends! Hilarious, right? I have signed up on meetup.com to do a few things, but I've backed out of stuff because of (a) money, and (b) terror. And I can use A as an excuse to cover up B. Hooray, social anxiety...... Anyway, I'm supposed to hang out with a person and do some t-shirt upcycling/crafting, so that might be fun. Hopefully it will be...and hopefully I won't chicken out.
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Just some inspiration
Puttering around Pinterest looking for recipes and whatever else pops up (i.e. everything and/or ADHD), and found this one pinned by SkinnyTaste. It's very true - it's something that I am mindful of all the time.
Monday, May 27, 2013
Family & Friends After Surgery
I haven't talked to my parents yet about my surgery date. I'm definitely ready to do that (as ready as I can be), but I'm not really sure where to go from here. I don't know when I would want them - or my mom, specifically - to come. During my surgery? Right when I come home? Maybe the weekend or something after it? I really don't know.... I don't know which would be less traumatic and more helpful. If there is even any time that would be helpful - to me or her. Frustrating. I know I want her support, and I know she wants to support me, but what can she do? Sit here while I sip on water slowly every 30 minutes? Walk around the block? It's almost more stressful for me to have her here because I'll be worrying about all the things that are wrong with the area I live in, and in the apartment.
Sigh. Haven't told them yet until I figure out what to do.... So I gotta make it quick.
Sigh. Haven't told them yet until I figure out what to do.... So I gotta make it quick.
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Surgery date!
I got my tentative surgery date! And I am actually kind of terrified of telling anyone........ And I don't really know why. Maybe I'm fearing a backlash of last minute "seriously? seriously... seriously?". I'm concerned about anyone taking care of me - I don't want them to, because I don't want to be let down. Even kind of Dave to an extent - he doesn't want to stay overnight in the hospital.. Which really makes me sad. But I know that I am strong, and that I will take my stuffed bear with me.
I have at least two other appointments I have to go to prior to the actual surgery. I'm glad the surgery is falling on a date that would be ideal for me with my leave balances and pay periods... Now, I just need cooperation with my primary care physician in getting an appointment and actually sending paperwork in a timely manner. HA! Ha.....
I had so much terrible anxiety earlier, and now, after the appointment, it just feels magnified; before it was a star going supernova, and now the black hole is forming. I just don't know.... I feel very alone in on myself, since I know this is an incredibly personal journey, and though I may have support from some and not from others, it's still going to be my will power tested every single waking moment.
I have at least two other appointments I have to go to prior to the actual surgery. I'm glad the surgery is falling on a date that would be ideal for me with my leave balances and pay periods... Now, I just need cooperation with my primary care physician in getting an appointment and actually sending paperwork in a timely manner. HA! Ha.....
I had so much terrible anxiety earlier, and now, after the appointment, it just feels magnified; before it was a star going supernova, and now the black hole is forming. I just don't know.... I feel very alone in on myself, since I know this is an incredibly personal journey, and though I may have support from some and not from others, it's still going to be my will power tested every single waking moment.
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Protein Powder/Drink Reviews
SO! Time for some reviews! It's been awhile, and I've been trying lots of stuff, so hopefully I can remember enough to do a goodly amount of reviewing. Also, I've been busy, so buckle your seatbelts.
Let me start off with my beverage this morning.
Jay Robb Whey Protein - Tropical Dreamsicle
(basic details per serving: 110 cal, 0g fat, 1g carb, 0g dietary fiber, 25g protein)
I picked this up at Vitamin Shoppe (which I pronounce vitamin shop-ee of course) on Monday, and decided to try it this morning. It's very low in calories and thus pretty comparable to the Isopure protein waters. Honestly, I think this is pretty tasty! It kind of has an orange creamsicle plus pineapple. I am still kind of sketchy on fruit-based protein drinks, mainly "clear" ones, ever since my first experience with Nectar (to be reviewed immediately following this one). However, I think I would consider buying more of this and trying more flavors, since it mixed well, tastes good, and is cheaper than Isopure.
Syntrax Nectar - Pink Grapefruit
(basic details: 150 cal, 0g fat, 0g carb, 0g dietary fiber, 36g protein)
This was the first protein powder I tried. And it didn't go so well. I don't know if I didn't mix it properly (it was clumpy), the flavor was not good, and it definitely had that gritty taste. If I were to try this again, I would of course use my newer method for mixing protein powders (put in jug, shake the hell out of it), but probably add it to like pineapple juice or something. Stand alone, I won't be having it again. But a lot of people swear by this brand, so I may not be able to shove them off my plate completely... It might be worth another go-round.
Max Protein from GreatProtein.Com - Vanilla (no image available)
(basic details: 126 cal, 2g fat, 5g carbs, 0g dietary fiber, 22g protein)
I picked this up on a recommendation on the gastricsleeve.com forums. I ordered the three samples - strawberry, chocolate, and vanilla, and when the package arrived, as soon as I opened it the smell of the vanilla was so powerful and delicious I couldn't resist trying it asap. And it really was fantastic!! The flavor is wonderful, it tastes full bodied and mixes incredibly well. There's no grittiness, and it's hard not to gulp that sucker down. I can't wait to try the other two flavors, I loved this one so much!
CytoSport Monster Milk - Chocolate Mint
(basic details (per bottle): 320 cal, 9g fat, 14g carbs, 5g dietary fiber, 45g protein)
So, this was delicious. I was a tad concerned when I picked it up because I love chocolate mint flavor...It's one of my absolute favorites. So I was like, "Nooo, what if it sucks and makes me dislike that flavor?! My FAVORITE FLAVOR?!" Well, thank goodness, it was tasty as all get out. And it kept me full for an incredibly long amount of time Granted, it's big - 20 oz - and most of the protein powders I take in are in 8-10 oz of water. But this was truly delicious, and kind of a treat. (Another goodie from Vitamin Shoppe.) Also, higher calories - but one of these would last me all day when I'm working through the full liquid phase. Dave also tried the banana creme flavor, and LOVED it. He is skeptical of all the protein powders and beverages, but he said he liked it so much he could drink it every day. Sooo, clearly a hit on a few levels.
Nutrology Tripact Protein - Chocolate Milkshake
(basic details: 130g cal, 1.5g fat, 4g carbs, 1g dietary fiber, 25g protein)
So, this is the first one I've actually bought a big jug of. I was skeptical.... I didn't want to commit... But I kinda sorta got the hard sell at GNC when I was there. However, it's great. And I was thinking about returning it if Dave wasn't in on it at all, but he likes it well enough. It dissolves well, doesn't leave a weird coating on my teeth, has low "stats" in all the right places, and I feel like I could drink it every day... The cost in the end is much cheaper than purchasing Special K shakes. So I am being dedicated to drinking this, and dedicated to my jug!
New Whey Liquid Protein - Fruit Punch
(basic details: 180 cal, 0g fat, 2g carbs, ?g dietary fiber, 42g protein)
So, I picked up this tube on a lark - things with this kind of packaging design make me wary as all get out. However, it's kind of like a shot of protein - whether you want to think of a shot like a needle or a drink. However, I think "liquid" is kind of a loose definition - it's more like syrup. Tasty, kind of medicinal, but syrupy to the max. It's good to get down, and I could drink this for one portion in my meals (though who knows exactly if it's clear or full liquid?), to bolster my protein if I'm not getting enough. However, I picked up another bottle (different flavor) to run it by nutritionist to see what she thinks. It might be over-engineered and bad for my system, so I don't want this little guy to be too good to be true.
GNC 'Total Lean' Lean Shake 25 - Rich Chocolate
(basic details: 200 cal, 3g fat, 17g carbs, 8g dietary fiber, 25g protein)
This little guy was tasty too! A GNC proprietary brand, so a bit of an up-sell as usual. It's part of a full program, so that's something I'm not a huge fan of - but so are all the Atkins products, and they're recommended by my nutritionist, as well as South Beach, Weight Watchers, and some others. The thing I like best about this one is that it has high dietary fiber. Since I know constipation is a common problem with those who've undergone a gastric sleeve procedure (and possibly any bariatric surgery, though I couldn't say for sure), having more fiber is better, definitely, definitely. I may pick up some more of these, but I don't think it will be my go-to because of the "above average" carbs and fat (compared to the previous ones).
Let me start off with my beverage this morning.
(basic details per serving: 110 cal, 0g fat, 1g carb, 0g dietary fiber, 25g protein)
I picked this up at Vitamin Shoppe (which I pronounce vitamin shop-ee of course) on Monday, and decided to try it this morning. It's very low in calories and thus pretty comparable to the Isopure protein waters. Honestly, I think this is pretty tasty! It kind of has an orange creamsicle plus pineapple. I am still kind of sketchy on fruit-based protein drinks, mainly "clear" ones, ever since my first experience with Nectar (to be reviewed immediately following this one). However, I think I would consider buying more of this and trying more flavors, since it mixed well, tastes good, and is cheaper than Isopure.
(basic details: 150 cal, 0g fat, 0g carb, 0g dietary fiber, 36g protein)
This was the first protein powder I tried. And it didn't go so well. I don't know if I didn't mix it properly (it was clumpy), the flavor was not good, and it definitely had that gritty taste. If I were to try this again, I would of course use my newer method for mixing protein powders (put in jug, shake the hell out of it), but probably add it to like pineapple juice or something. Stand alone, I won't be having it again. But a lot of people swear by this brand, so I may not be able to shove them off my plate completely... It might be worth another go-round.
Max Protein from GreatProtein.Com - Vanilla (no image available)
(basic details: 126 cal, 2g fat, 5g carbs, 0g dietary fiber, 22g protein)
I picked this up on a recommendation on the gastricsleeve.com forums. I ordered the three samples - strawberry, chocolate, and vanilla, and when the package arrived, as soon as I opened it the smell of the vanilla was so powerful and delicious I couldn't resist trying it asap. And it really was fantastic!! The flavor is wonderful, it tastes full bodied and mixes incredibly well. There's no grittiness, and it's hard not to gulp that sucker down. I can't wait to try the other two flavors, I loved this one so much!
(basic details (per bottle): 320 cal, 9g fat, 14g carbs, 5g dietary fiber, 45g protein)
So, this was delicious. I was a tad concerned when I picked it up because I love chocolate mint flavor...It's one of my absolute favorites. So I was like, "Nooo, what if it sucks and makes me dislike that flavor?! My FAVORITE FLAVOR?!" Well, thank goodness, it was tasty as all get out. And it kept me full for an incredibly long amount of time Granted, it's big - 20 oz - and most of the protein powders I take in are in 8-10 oz of water. But this was truly delicious, and kind of a treat. (Another goodie from Vitamin Shoppe.) Also, higher calories - but one of these would last me all day when I'm working through the full liquid phase. Dave also tried the banana creme flavor, and LOVED it. He is skeptical of all the protein powders and beverages, but he said he liked it so much he could drink it every day. Sooo, clearly a hit on a few levels.
Nutrology Tripact Protein - Chocolate Milkshake
(basic details: 130g cal, 1.5g fat, 4g carbs, 1g dietary fiber, 25g protein)
So, this is the first one I've actually bought a big jug of. I was skeptical.... I didn't want to commit... But I kinda sorta got the hard sell at GNC when I was there. However, it's great. And I was thinking about returning it if Dave wasn't in on it at all, but he likes it well enough. It dissolves well, doesn't leave a weird coating on my teeth, has low "stats" in all the right places, and I feel like I could drink it every day... The cost in the end is much cheaper than purchasing Special K shakes. So I am being dedicated to drinking this, and dedicated to my jug!
(basic details: 180 cal, 0g fat, 2g carbs, ?g dietary fiber, 42g protein)
So, I picked up this tube on a lark - things with this kind of packaging design make me wary as all get out. However, it's kind of like a shot of protein - whether you want to think of a shot like a needle or a drink. However, I think "liquid" is kind of a loose definition - it's more like syrup. Tasty, kind of medicinal, but syrupy to the max. It's good to get down, and I could drink this for one portion in my meals (though who knows exactly if it's clear or full liquid?), to bolster my protein if I'm not getting enough. However, I picked up another bottle (different flavor) to run it by nutritionist to see what she thinks. It might be over-engineered and bad for my system, so I don't want this little guy to be too good to be true.
(basic details: 200 cal, 3g fat, 17g carbs, 8g dietary fiber, 25g protein)This little guy was tasty too! A GNC proprietary brand, so a bit of an up-sell as usual. It's part of a full program, so that's something I'm not a huge fan of - but so are all the Atkins products, and they're recommended by my nutritionist, as well as South Beach, Weight Watchers, and some others. The thing I like best about this one is that it has high dietary fiber. Since I know constipation is a common problem with those who've undergone a gastric sleeve procedure (and possibly any bariatric surgery, though I couldn't say for sure), having more fiber is better, definitely, definitely. I may pick up some more of these, but I don't think it will be my go-to because of the "above average" carbs and fat (compared to the previous ones).
Monday, May 20, 2013
A slight remedy to said second-guessing
Information and inspiration!
The American Society for Metabolic & Bariatric Surgery's Position Statement on Preoperative Supervised Weight Loss Requirements - Link (pdf)
“Do something today that your future self will thank you for.” - unknown
The American Society for Metabolic & Bariatric Surgery's Position Statement on Preoperative Supervised Weight Loss Requirements - Link (pdf)
“Do something today that your future self will thank you for.” - unknown
Second Guessing
I have been kind of second-guessing myself lately. I went into GNC on Saturday to make use of the coupon I got for signing up for their GNC Gold Card Member, intending to just pick up a goodly amount of Isopure waters. Well, being the only person in the store (as usual), I got the full attention and selling of the store associate and the manager. In short, they ended up selling me a jug of their Tripact, since they originally lured me in with free samples to boot. As I was finishing up my purchase (waaayyy more money than I was willing to commit to, hence the "selling"), the manager was talking to me at length about bariatric surgery and lifestyle changes. (When I had come in, they asked if I was shopping for products for bariatric surgery - I guess I don't look like much of a muscle builder, huh? lolz~... though I could have been there just for nutritional supplements.) If I was able to maintain a better diet and lifestyle, in a few months I would see the changes I would get from surgery and not need it.
I have indeed thought about the fact that since I am doing so much for the surgery, and learning so much more about what healthy eating habits *ought* to be, that if I'm willing to commit to this lifestyle because of the surgery, why can't I just commit to the lifestyle without losing 80% of my stomach?
I also got the same kind of spiel from my coworker this morning... God didn't intend for us to all be the same [small] size, or to alter ourselves with surgery. But God didn't intend for us to all be having over-manufactured foods, full of preservatives, hormones, high fructose corn syrup, unhealthy food being cheaper and easier than healthy food... More than a third of Americans are obese. And I'm on the morbidly obese level... There are people with less weight than I "going under the knife" so to speak. If I have no obesity-related co-morbidities, is this just cosmetic? Because I "wear my weight well", it doesn't mean that I'm any less obese than someone who 'looks' fat. I think of it was a reactive and preventative measure that I should take, but with so much opposition, I wonder if I'm making the wrong decision.
Torn, troubled, confused and frustrated.
I have indeed thought about the fact that since I am doing so much for the surgery, and learning so much more about what healthy eating habits *ought* to be, that if I'm willing to commit to this lifestyle because of the surgery, why can't I just commit to the lifestyle without losing 80% of my stomach?
I also got the same kind of spiel from my coworker this morning... God didn't intend for us to all be the same [small] size, or to alter ourselves with surgery. But God didn't intend for us to all be having over-manufactured foods, full of preservatives, hormones, high fructose corn syrup, unhealthy food being cheaper and easier than healthy food... More than a third of Americans are obese. And I'm on the morbidly obese level... There are people with less weight than I "going under the knife" so to speak. If I have no obesity-related co-morbidities, is this just cosmetic? Because I "wear my weight well", it doesn't mean that I'm any less obese than someone who 'looks' fat. I think of it was a reactive and preventative measure that I should take, but with so much opposition, I wonder if I'm making the wrong decision.
Torn, troubled, confused and frustrated.
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Recipes from gastricsleeve.com
Puttering around the recipes section, I wanted to copy some of those recipes here. There are a ton that are Mexican food-based, and I am not a fan of that, so looking for things that aren't refried beans or black beans or pinto beans etc is kind of tricky.... So I definitely want to keep track of recipes that catch my eye! These are definitely for all different stages - mostly smoothie/puree and beyond.
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Baked Salmon and Egg Puffs by user Briezy_Bee
Ingredients:
2 small cans salmon
5 eggs
1/2 chopped finely onion
1 tsp pepper
1 tbs soy sauce
Shredded cheese
Directions:
Mix all the ingredients except cheese in a large mixing bowl
Spray cupcake tin with oil
Pour mix into cups (makes 11)
Put cheese on top
Bake for 25 minutes and servce.
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Double Deluxe Chocolate Fudge by user Gal
Mix 1 serving of chocolate whey/soya protein powder according to directions. Add 1 packet of Swiss Miss fat-free hot cocoa mix and 3 icecubes. Blend for 45 seconds and serve.
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Breakfast boost by user Gal
Blend 8 oz of orange juice with half a cup of non-fat yogurt, half a banana and 1 serving of whey/soya protein, 1 tablespoon full of flax seed oil, 4 frozen peach slices and 3 icecubes. Blend on high speed for 45 seconds and serve.
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Protein Brownies by user jemaz - *altered to exclude caffeine*
Ingredients:
3 TBS almond butter (raw unsweetened, can be found at Trader Joe's)
1/4 cup raw oats
2 scoops of chocolate Whey Protein powder
2 TBS chopped almonds (raw)
2 TSP vanilla extract
1/2 cup water
6 packets of Splenda
1 TBS cinnamon
1 TBS Swiss Miss Hot Cocoa mix, sugar free
optional: 2 small bananas
Directions:
1. Grind almonds in a food processor, or chopped with knife either is fine
2. Grind oats in food processor, or leave whole, it all preference.
3. Add all items together in bowl and mix well.
4. You can microwave in bowl or you can bake in bread pan / cupcake pan.
5. Bake at 15-20 minutes @ 350 w/ bananas 25-35 minutes
OR microwave for 1.5 - 2 minutes on high, very dependent on microwave.
You will have to play with cooking time to see how you like it. I personally cook some a little longer than others. This way I get some nice moist ones and some harder more crunchy ones, depending on what I'm in the mood for. Some are easier to take on the run as well.
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Link to Chike brand protein smoothie recipes from user accordingtome - http://www.chikenutrition.com/recipes/
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High(er) Protein Jello by user accordingtome
(NOTE: Regular Jello only has 1g protein in 1/2c)
Ingredients:
1 Box Sugar-free Jello
1 cup boiling water
1 cup Isopure/Cytomax fruit-flavored protein drink
Directions:
1. Mix and stir until Jello is dissolves.
2. Add 1 cup of either Isopure or Cytomax fruit-flavored clear protein drink (this is where the added protein comes in)
3. Refrigerate and serve. Each 1/2c serving of Jello now contains MORE flavor and 5 grams of protein!
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Ok, I think that's all I can take for now - for myself and my wallet. (All these different protein powders come up that I want to try in the meantime, so you know I've added a few to ye olde shopping cart!
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Baked Salmon and Egg Puffs by user Briezy_Bee
Ingredients:
2 small cans salmon
5 eggs
1/2 chopped finely onion
1 tsp pepper
1 tbs soy sauce
Shredded cheese
Directions:
Mix all the ingredients except cheese in a large mixing bowl
Spray cupcake tin with oil
Pour mix into cups (makes 11)
Put cheese on top
Bake for 25 minutes and servce.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Double Deluxe Chocolate Fudge by user Gal
Mix 1 serving of chocolate whey/soya protein powder according to directions. Add 1 packet of Swiss Miss fat-free hot cocoa mix and 3 icecubes. Blend for 45 seconds and serve.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Breakfast boost by user Gal
Blend 8 oz of orange juice with half a cup of non-fat yogurt, half a banana and 1 serving of whey/soya protein, 1 tablespoon full of flax seed oil, 4 frozen peach slices and 3 icecubes. Blend on high speed for 45 seconds and serve.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Protein Brownies by user jemaz - *altered to exclude caffeine*
Ingredients:
3 TBS almond butter (raw unsweetened, can be found at Trader Joe's)
1/4 cup raw oats
2 scoops of chocolate Whey Protein powder
2 TBS chopped almonds (raw)
2 TSP vanilla extract
1/2 cup water
6 packets of Splenda
1 TBS cinnamon
1 TBS Swiss Miss Hot Cocoa mix, sugar free
optional: 2 small bananas
Directions:
1. Grind almonds in a food processor, or chopped with knife either is fine
2. Grind oats in food processor, or leave whole, it all preference.
3. Add all items together in bowl and mix well.
4. You can microwave in bowl or you can bake in bread pan / cupcake pan.
5. Bake at 15-20 minutes @ 350 w/ bananas 25-35 minutes
OR microwave for 1.5 - 2 minutes on high, very dependent on microwave.
You will have to play with cooking time to see how you like it. I personally cook some a little longer than others. This way I get some nice moist ones and some harder more crunchy ones, depending on what I'm in the mood for. Some are easier to take on the run as well.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Link to Chike brand protein smoothie recipes from user accordingtome - http://www.chikenutrition.com/recipes/
----------------------------------------------------------------
High(er) Protein Jello by user accordingtome
(NOTE: Regular Jello only has 1g protein in 1/2c)
Ingredients:
1 Box Sugar-free Jello
1 cup boiling water
1 cup Isopure/Cytomax fruit-flavored protein drink
Directions:
1. Mix and stir until Jello is dissolves.
2. Add 1 cup of either Isopure or Cytomax fruit-flavored clear protein drink (this is where the added protein comes in)
3. Refrigerate and serve. Each 1/2c serving of Jello now contains MORE flavor and 5 grams of protein!
----------------------------------------------------------------
Ok, I think that's all I can take for now - for myself and my wallet. (All these different protein powders come up that I want to try in the meantime, so you know I've added a few to ye olde shopping cart!
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Fat foot
My fat foot, aka my right foot and lower part of my right leg (mid-shin & down), has early lymphedema. I gave up on wearing my compression stockings (knee-highs) because they were incorrectly sized and I tore a few. Lots of excuses, etc. Anyway, they sucked, and I was doing fine without them, if my foot was unsightly in my eyes.
In the week or more, though, I have been having a good deal of pain in it, and the swelling has started to get a bit excessive. Wearing heels, even a low one, is patently absurd. Even sneakers hurt, since it's an enclosed environment.
Here are two pics I took in the middle of the after wearing heels that were about 2" tall, with a wide braided (elastic, fabric) band across the top.
(You can see the heel on the other foot in the second picture.)
SERIOUSLY. My toes are little sausages (moreso), and my foot looks like a peanut. These are hands down probably the most comfortable heels I own... And to have them be this agonizing with the pain of my foot (just an overwhelming tightness across my skin and pressure on the muscles and bones)...Arrrggghhh. I really hope the weight loss will help with this.
In the week or more, though, I have been having a good deal of pain in it, and the swelling has started to get a bit excessive. Wearing heels, even a low one, is patently absurd. Even sneakers hurt, since it's an enclosed environment.
Here are two pics I took in the middle of the after wearing heels that were about 2" tall, with a wide braided (elastic, fabric) band across the top.
SERIOUSLY. My toes are little sausages (moreso), and my foot looks like a peanut. These are hands down probably the most comfortable heels I own... And to have them be this agonizing with the pain of my foot (just an overwhelming tightness across my skin and pressure on the muscles and bones)...Arrrggghhh. I really hope the weight loss will help with this.
Monday, May 13, 2013
Progress!
So, I had my appointment with the cardiologist last week so I could get cardiac clearance for the surgery.. Of course I am totally fine, and the first EKG was a false read. (I know I don't have heart problems, and he did the full run down, and said my heart was very healthy, etc.) So I made sure the results would get sent over to the COMP office (Comprehensive Obesity Management Program), so I could get my appointment scheduled with the surgeon... I have been going round and round trying to get these referrals and get this appointment which would have been completely unnecessary had my primary care doctor just agreed to do a comparison and sign-off on my heart being healthy and happy.
ANYHOO.
I had to wait to hear back. After they got the paperwork, the nurse still had to evaluate it. Then the waiting game, or, well really, waiting beside the phone.
I got the call from the nurse Friday that my EKG is fine, and that the only thing I still needed (loooord) was a letter written from my therapist saying that I'm under her care. This is because in my psychological clearance exam, the doctor wrote that I should continue seeing my therapist (which I had actually taken a break from, since I couldn't afford to go to the appointments during her office hours without a severe impact on my pay). I already had an appointment with her, but it was the later in the day after the surgeon appointment would be...so I bumped that up. But, I have a date with the surgeon! Now, not actually a surgery date, just an appointment with the surgeon and the woman who takes care of the financials to schedule a tentative surgery date and submit my packet of documentation to the insurance company. Then they allow 30-45 days to process it, so I think I'm looking at a possible June or July surgery date.
I am so, so, so glad that I finally got that appointment scheduled....It's about friggin time. However, now the real terror sets in. I am really scared. I wasn't sure what I was scared about - I took a step back and tried to analyze it. It's not the surgery itself - I am actually not that scared of being in the hospital, since (A) the COMP group is located in GBMC and since I've had so much testing, I have been in the hospital very often lately, and (B) my ex had lymphoma, so I spent a lot of time with him in the hospital as well (and he being in my surgical circumstances obviously). I'm not scared of going under the knife because I'll be out.. I am always incredibly careful about following doctors' orders. So when they say only clear liquids for 48 hours beforehand? 10-freaking-4. I know that it's in my best interest to follow the rules.... I've always been a "good girl" like that.
I think what I am scared of is everything after. The vomiting (which won't necessarily happen, but is likely as I adjust to what my 'pouch' can handle). The teeny tiny amount of food I'll be able to have. For the first 48 hours after I get home (after being in the hospital for 2 days), I will still be on clear liquids, that I have to take in at 4 oz (1/2 cup) every 30 minutes, without a straw or gulping. I'm going to have a lot of gaseous pressure in my torso from the air (or whatever gas) is pumped into me to allow the laproscopic instruments maneuverability around all my organs - that could be incredibly painful - but I just need to get up and get moving, walking, jumping up and down, laying upside down in an arm chair or something...lol. I've seen some interesting tips on gastricsleeve.com. Then after that, it's such a strict regiment. I know I can follow it, though it will most likely be super expensive with buying so many protein supplements and other vitamins and nutritional add-ons. I'm just worried about what will happen if I mess up... What if my pouch were to rupture? Or more vomiting? I don't mind the not losing weight like zip-zap-zoom, if that's the cost of messing up, but I don't want to be incredibly unhealthy and feeling like I'm on my death bed. :C
Arrggghhhh. >_<
Talked to my family about it a bit more this weekend, hopefully my mom and/or dad and/or sister will come down and spend a weekend with me - though who knows. I am hoping I can get my surgery scheduled around July 4th, so I can take advantage of the holiday when factoring in my time off. However, my mom's 60th birthday is July 13th, and we are hoping to throw her a decent shindig, aaand I'm kind of the main party planner, so it might be a little nutzy. I could still have my surgery at the end of June, though, and then have a week or two of time off before the party, and still incorporate the holiday... All trying to get this planned out to straddle pay periods so I stay in pay status long enough to keep my health insurance! I am going to be as logical as I can be - no need to not have plans in place.
<3 All for now, it's long enough. Ciao~
ANYHOO.
I had to wait to hear back. After they got the paperwork, the nurse still had to evaluate it. Then the waiting game, or, well really, waiting beside the phone.
I got the call from the nurse Friday that my EKG is fine, and that the only thing I still needed (loooord) was a letter written from my therapist saying that I'm under her care. This is because in my psychological clearance exam, the doctor wrote that I should continue seeing my therapist (which I had actually taken a break from, since I couldn't afford to go to the appointments during her office hours without a severe impact on my pay). I already had an appointment with her, but it was the later in the day after the surgeon appointment would be...so I bumped that up. But, I have a date with the surgeon! Now, not actually a surgery date, just an appointment with the surgeon and the woman who takes care of the financials to schedule a tentative surgery date and submit my packet of documentation to the insurance company. Then they allow 30-45 days to process it, so I think I'm looking at a possible June or July surgery date.
I am so, so, so glad that I finally got that appointment scheduled....It's about friggin time. However, now the real terror sets in. I am really scared. I wasn't sure what I was scared about - I took a step back and tried to analyze it. It's not the surgery itself - I am actually not that scared of being in the hospital, since (A) the COMP group is located in GBMC and since I've had so much testing, I have been in the hospital very often lately, and (B) my ex had lymphoma, so I spent a lot of time with him in the hospital as well (and he being in my surgical circumstances obviously). I'm not scared of going under the knife because I'll be out.. I am always incredibly careful about following doctors' orders. So when they say only clear liquids for 48 hours beforehand? 10-freaking-4. I know that it's in my best interest to follow the rules.... I've always been a "good girl" like that.
I think what I am scared of is everything after. The vomiting (which won't necessarily happen, but is likely as I adjust to what my 'pouch' can handle). The teeny tiny amount of food I'll be able to have. For the first 48 hours after I get home (after being in the hospital for 2 days), I will still be on clear liquids, that I have to take in at 4 oz (1/2 cup) every 30 minutes, without a straw or gulping. I'm going to have a lot of gaseous pressure in my torso from the air (or whatever gas) is pumped into me to allow the laproscopic instruments maneuverability around all my organs - that could be incredibly painful - but I just need to get up and get moving, walking, jumping up and down, laying upside down in an arm chair or something...lol. I've seen some interesting tips on gastricsleeve.com. Then after that, it's such a strict regiment. I know I can follow it, though it will most likely be super expensive with buying so many protein supplements and other vitamins and nutritional add-ons. I'm just worried about what will happen if I mess up... What if my pouch were to rupture? Or more vomiting? I don't mind the not losing weight like zip-zap-zoom, if that's the cost of messing up, but I don't want to be incredibly unhealthy and feeling like I'm on my death bed. :C
Arrggghhhh. >_<
Talked to my family about it a bit more this weekend, hopefully my mom and/or dad and/or sister will come down and spend a weekend with me - though who knows. I am hoping I can get my surgery scheduled around July 4th, so I can take advantage of the holiday when factoring in my time off. However, my mom's 60th birthday is July 13th, and we are hoping to throw her a decent shindig, aaand I'm kind of the main party planner, so it might be a little nutzy. I could still have my surgery at the end of June, though, and then have a week or two of time off before the party, and still incorporate the holiday... All trying to get this planned out to straddle pay periods so I stay in pay status long enough to keep my health insurance! I am going to be as logical as I can be - no need to not have plans in place.
<3 All for now, it's long enough. Ciao~
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Delicious High Protein, Low Carb recipe
So, I hadn't planned on putting any recipes up here, but after trying one of them last night, I knew it was just too good to keep to myself.
Honestly, I could just stop here. Daym Drops speaks the universal truth about this avocado egg salad better than I ever could:
*Ahem*
So! Continuing on. Gina's Skinny Taste recipes on skinnytaste.com is the keeper of this gem. The facts were these: Servings: 6 • Size: 1/2 cup • WeightWatchers Old Points: 3 pt • WW Points+: 4 pt
Calories: 154.7 • Fat: 11.7 g • Protein: 9.3 g • Carb: 4.6 g • Fiber: 3 g • Sugar: 0.5 g
Sodium: 132 mg (without salt)
She combined hers with a Flatout; I put mine in a Arnold's Pocket Thin Pita/Flatbread (Italian Herb).
Again...
Nothing else. Just its deliciousness in all its naked, unbridled glory. With the pita being 5g of protein and the avo-egg being 9.3g, this little guy has a surprising (to me at least) amount of protein - which I'm sure you could even bump up with some unflavored protein powder as well. Also, a total of 24.6 carbs - which really isn't that bad, considering it's a straight up bread product, and those generally scream of carbs.
Anyway, I know you are all ecstatic to get to it. So here it is!
*Ahem*
So! Continuing on. Gina's Skinny Taste recipes on skinnytaste.com is the keeper of this gem. The facts were these: Servings: 6 • Size: 1/2 cup • WeightWatchers Old Points: 3 pt • WW Points+: 4 pt
Calories: 154.7 • Fat: 11.7 g • Protein: 9.3 g • Carb: 4.6 g • Fiber: 3 g • Sugar: 0.5 g
Sodium: 132 mg (without salt)
She combined hers with a Flatout; I put mine in a Arnold's Pocket Thin Pita/Flatbread (Italian Herb).
Again...
Anyway, I know you are all ecstatic to get to it. So here it is!
Isopure Protein Drink
In my last trip to GNC, I picked up four bottles of Isopure Protein Drink, Zero Carb, in different flavors: Mango Peach, Icy Orange, Grape Frost, and Blue Raspberry. (Mainly those because I believe that was most of the zero carb ones they had.) These puppies have 40 grams of protein. So, drinking two of these a day would get me in my targeted protein window for sure - the window being 70-100g-ish... Most people don't get anywhere near that, and historically I could just eat carbs all day and only have maybe 10g protein max. So...tangent.
Anyway!
Today I'm finishing my last bottle, and I wanted to weigh in briefly on the drink. First of all, there is definitely a "mouth-feel" of protein powder. It's definitely the first thing I noticed when I opened up my first bottle (mango peach). Generally, that turns me off almost immediately... That mouth-feel also leads to an unpleasant coating on my teeth, and I've noticed my breath tends to be kind of stinky after all of the drinks..
However, once you hit a flavor you like, it's all smooth sailing. My favs were the grape frost and icy orange... the mango peach and blue raspberry were definitely not ones I'd buy again. I am almost definitely going to pick up more of the good ones, but at minimum $2.50-$3.50/bottle, it's something that I'll have to weigh the costs and figure out my best course of action.
Anyway!
Today I'm finishing my last bottle, and I wanted to weigh in briefly on the drink. First of all, there is definitely a "mouth-feel" of protein powder. It's definitely the first thing I noticed when I opened up my first bottle (mango peach). Generally, that turns me off almost immediately... That mouth-feel also leads to an unpleasant coating on my teeth, and I've noticed my breath tends to be kind of stinky after all of the drinks..
However, once you hit a flavor you like, it's all smooth sailing. My favs were the grape frost and icy orange... the mango peach and blue raspberry were definitely not ones I'd buy again. I am almost definitely going to pick up more of the good ones, but at minimum $2.50-$3.50/bottle, it's something that I'll have to weigh the costs and figure out my best course of action.
Friday, May 3, 2013
Before Photos!
I wanted to make sure I took some pictures of myself before the operation. So here's something that's kind of typical wear - and obviously pretty snug to my frame. Next time I'll try and have someone else take them, instead of being in a public bathroom.
Yup, classy.
Soft Chews Reviews
So let's start off with the major reason for this post:
I really hate swallowing large pills, also known as "horse pills" in my world.
Vitamins and supplements are generally in that form all the time. SO! I pretty much do everything I can to find pills/caplets/tablets/etc that are small, or chewable! Therefore, I have acquired a good deal of experience.
In addition, I went to GNC today to find out some new info on other protein, and they had a goodly amount of soft chew samples! So naturally I took one of each. I don't have a ton of information to review them, other than ranking them in order of flavor, and a little research into their benefits through the website.
So, the ones I tried were Garden Greens Lychee-Mango Super Fruit Chew, GNC Women's Ultra Mega Soft Chew Multivitamin - Mixed Berry, and GNC WELLbeING be-Beautiful Hair-Skin-Nails. (I can't believe the absurd length of some of these names...) The first one I tried was the Lychee Mango, and it was definitely my favorite. It was a bit gooey and sticking to my fingers, but that annoyance was only very minor. Here's a quick n' dirty description from the website -
"The Lychee fruit originates in Southern China and the name Lychee is derived from the Chinese word "lee chee" meaning "one who gives the pleasure of life". The mango fruit is a tree native to West Africa. The fiber from mango helps to reduce cholesterol and boost energy. Garden Greens™ Lychee-Mango contains no cholesterol, virtually no fat and low in sodium. Lychee and mango help the body to digest food properly for the best nutrition and an added boost of health to promote weight loss."
Overall, it doesn't seem like it's got oodles of nutritional value, but it might be a nice thing to supplement someone's weight loss. Not for me at the moment, though. And, truly, none of the ones I sampled today would be ones I continue taking, due to their cost and availability.
My middle favorite was the Ultra Mega. The flavor was good - kind of like a perfect fake grape flavor. Its consistency was pretty good, and I enjoyed it. If I was in the market for a new multi-vitamin, this would most definitely be a consideration. Also, it is definitely CHOCK FULL of vitamins, now that I investigate it more, so I think it is actually a strong competitor for my regular multivitamin I take (just regular centrum chewables, orange flavor). Kind of as a nice bonus, it had the least calories of the two (though, generally, they are kind of negligible), and slightly more importantly, had protein! So good on ya for that, GNC W.U.M.S.C.M. (wum scum? that's an awful acronym)
In addition to the ones I tried, I am already taking Viactiv Calcium Supplement Soft Chews (Milk Chocolate) and VitaFusion Fiber Well Gummies for Weight Management (Peach, Strawberry, Berry). The Viactiv chews smell kind of awful as all get-out in the actual container. But when you unwrap them, they're kind of taste like a little tootsie roll! So it's almost a treat.
The Fiber Well Gummies are pretty good as well, though definitely not a ton of fiber - 5g is kind of small potatoes. But, what the hey, why not add a supplement in there as well, right? Also, I take them at the same time I take my Centrum Chewable in the morning, which is sour and gritty, so they go down well together. These gummies are definitely very chewy, you'll be working on them for a bit after you pop them in your mouth. They taste good but not awesome. I'm not sure if I'm going to buy them again, but it's not for the flavor reason - it's for it being a kind of minimal amount of fiber for the price.
Soon to come: Isopure Protein Water Reviews, Protein Bar reviews, etc!
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Dieting, making changes, and studying
So, I've started up using My Fitness Pal again, and by starting up, I mean I have totally already started falling off the wagon... It's because I tend to want to not admit to myself what I'm eating, or feel guilty/ashamed of what I'm putting in my mouth. But, I should still be 100% honest with myself.... I just am having difficulty with it. :( I am making a concentrated effort to eat better, and I think it's apparent to me and my coworkers, but once I get home... it's like no holds barred. Especially if I've got chocolate there. And if I don't, I'm moaning and whining for it... Sooo much chocolate addiction!!
Speaking of which - caffeine and soda. I have been able to cut back on soda to approximately 1 serving (bottle or glass) a day. Which is pretty great, IMO, considering where I've come from. The soda I've been drinking is 80% caffeine free. However, I am still needing caffeine a goodly amount - I am always so tired, whether from lack of sleep or depression or medications. So tired that I have problems staying awake driving on my commute - which is only half an hour! Both the morning and evening commute. I have tried a lot of things, and am still trying to figure out ways. It's definitely a struggle.
Thankfully I am drinking a ton of tea and water, so that's good. However, I'm not being discerning in my tea necessarily - that is, not check to see if it's decaffeinated or not. I have a lot of tea I've had for some time, so I'm not really investigating it excessively. Also, a lot of labels don't say if they are or aren't! I am a notorious label reader, so this lack of info is something I definitely take notice of.
And then on to studying. I have been thoroughly reading the information that was given to me at the nutritional information appointments I've had, highlighting, making copies to put in prominent places, etc. There are so many important pages that it's hard to keep track! But I am definitely paying very strong attention, and focusing in on that protein. I've been puttering around trying to find samples (whey protein isolate), but it's not cheap... And neither are the supplements themselves. So I definitely want to try samples! When I can find them, they are usually $3-ish apiece. Which is a tad frustrating, since I don't have that kind of money to try a bunch of samples of things I might not like! I will probably need someone to gift me protein supplements in the end anyway. :( Oh, this is so not cheap. Maybe eventually, but sure as hell not for the first year or more.
Speaking of which - caffeine and soda. I have been able to cut back on soda to approximately 1 serving (bottle or glass) a day. Which is pretty great, IMO, considering where I've come from. The soda I've been drinking is 80% caffeine free. However, I am still needing caffeine a goodly amount - I am always so tired, whether from lack of sleep or depression or medications. So tired that I have problems staying awake driving on my commute - which is only half an hour! Both the morning and evening commute. I have tried a lot of things, and am still trying to figure out ways. It's definitely a struggle.
Thankfully I am drinking a ton of tea and water, so that's good. However, I'm not being discerning in my tea necessarily - that is, not check to see if it's decaffeinated or not. I have a lot of tea I've had for some time, so I'm not really investigating it excessively. Also, a lot of labels don't say if they are or aren't! I am a notorious label reader, so this lack of info is something I definitely take notice of.
And then on to studying. I have been thoroughly reading the information that was given to me at the nutritional information appointments I've had, highlighting, making copies to put in prominent places, etc. There are so many important pages that it's hard to keep track! But I am definitely paying very strong attention, and focusing in on that protein. I've been puttering around trying to find samples (whey protein isolate), but it's not cheap... And neither are the supplements themselves. So I definitely want to try samples! When I can find them, they are usually $3-ish apiece. Which is a tad frustrating, since I don't have that kind of money to try a bunch of samples of things I might not like! I will probably need someone to gift me protein supplements in the end anyway. :( Oh, this is so not cheap. Maybe eventually, but sure as hell not for the first year or more.
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