Surgery date!

I got my tentative surgery date! And I am actually kind of terrified of telling anyone........ And I don't really know why. Maybe I'm fearing a backlash of last minute "seriously? seriously... seriously?". I'm concerned about anyone taking care of me - I don't want them to, because I don't want to be let down. Even kind of Dave to an extent - he doesn't want to stay overnight in the hospital.. Which really makes me sad. But I know that I am strong, and that I will take my stuffed bear with me.

I have at least two other appointments I have to go to prior to the actual surgery. I'm glad the surgery is falling on a date that would be ideal for me with my leave balances and pay periods... Now, I just need cooperation with my primary care physician in getting an appointment and actually sending paperwork in a timely manner. HA! Ha.....

I had so much terrible anxiety earlier, and now, after the appointment, it just feels magnified; before it was a star going supernova, and now the black hole is forming. I just don't know.... I feel very alone in on myself, since I know this is an incredibly personal journey, and though I may have support from some and not from others, it's still going to be my will power tested every single waking moment.